Monday, January 3, 2011

In Which The Devolutionist Faces a New Year With His Customary Grace

Your Devolutionist does not believe in New Year's resolutions.  Why does a person need the artificial stimulation  of an essentially arbitrary division of time to accomplish tasks he has been too lazy to accomplish before?  When a person actually accomplishes these tasks, then he can pat himself on the back.

The tasks always turn out to be so important they should exist outside the framework of a social construct.  Exercising more?  Good advice in general.  Get finances in order?  Why aren't they already?  Drink less?  Never a resolution your Devolutionist could endorse.  If you drink enough that not drinking is a resolution, you might need to get to a meeting.  Stop moping over past heartbreaks?  Your mental health depends on it, so if you've been moping for six months or a year or even longer, you shouldn't need a change in the calendar to motivate you to get over it.

But (there is always a but) your lazy Devolutionist does struggle himself with certain dictates of living this long-ass life.  He quit exercising in July in order to rest a sore toe and often-stiff lower back, and after more than five months has not gone back to the gym, even though L.A. Fitness still deducts $29.99 from the old checking account every month.  So making time to work out again is high on the priority list.

Also on the list: working harder.  There have been too many mornings of lazing around drinking coffee and surfing the net instead of writing, cleaning, sending out resumes and cover letters, just to name a few unconsummated activities.  So eliminating a fair percentage of natural sloth is also on the to-do list.

Finally, this blog.  The Devolutionist has neglected it...has in fact barely touched the damn thing over the course of 2010.  For a masturbatory outlet, he prefers actual masturbation.  But the blog began with the intention of being an outlet for mental masturbation, and that is at least as important to keep the writing muscles warm and shapely as physical workouts are for the body.  So the resolution from this day going forward for the blog: write more entries even if many, many of them are utter crap.

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